hate 4th of July

i was 15, living with my god awful parents. every week or twice a week my parents would drag me to the bowling alley with them for their league bowling.most the time i was grounded so i was stuck at the table watching. listening. they always got a pitcher of beer and a plate of fries. even though we were broke. yet they could afford to bowl all the time and get stuff for themselves. stuck watching them have fun and playing with adult dirty cards they got from a sex shop. being inappropriate in front of their teenager while there 17 year old got to do whatever he wanted.well when i wasn't grounded (for no reason) there was a boy, we met when we were like 13 or so. his mom was friends with my parents, no father around. the day we met was with three other kids who i dont remember. we were going to play a game and decided the oldest goes first. everyone says their age, then i did and the boy said he was a year older then me. so he went first. next week at the bowling alley i would look for him. two weeks later there he was sitting at our table. we were both in trouble. he was doing homework, i was helping, i then realized he was well below average and not very smart. he was having trouble with very easy homework.

back to when i was 15 i finally ended up dating that boy. my best friend and i were arguing, she switched schools and became distant but i had a boyfriend so i was happy. sense our family were friends his mom would have me over whenever i could get away from my family. then it was the 4th of July. exciting right. i wasn't to thrilled sense my parents would always mess it up. i thought this time would be different.

when i was younger i was jealous because they would let my older brother light fireworks and not me. then finally they let me light them it was cool. the year after that they had a bunch of kids over. i had for once convinced my parents to let me take the class pet (a bunny) home. that weekend. the kids loved the bunny. time for glow sticks, my mom hid a small one and the last long one behind her back. i choose the long one because i could see it, and then that's when my mom purposely switched it to give a kid that's not hers the long one. i was mad. got over it. time for fireworks, they refused to let me light any, when they let me last year, which you cant just do that. so i went inside, they weren't letting my brother light any either so him and the other kids followed inside. so it was shut down because nobody was watching. so i already had bad 4th experiences.

back to being 15 with my boyfriend, his mom invited me to the beach with them for the fourth. me and my boyfriend were playing in the water and went to the sand to play. laid out a towel and stated playing in the sand kinda making sand castles. when he started coughing up blood. i grabbed him and yelled for his mom. i cradled him while she called 911. he died in my arms. his name was Shawn. i went to his memorial and couldn't speak even though i wrote a speech. his mom got over it quickly, i couldn't understand how. they said he had swallowed to much water and drowned, while playing in the sand.

the next year my parents wanted to go to the beach and they didn't understand why i freaked out. they made me go in the water. after a while i just had to so i grabbed a floatie and held on for dear life. i made sure to keep my head above water. i asked for a towel and everyone refused to get me one. my bottom underwear were to big and i didn't want to show everyone my embarrassing pubic hair. they thought i was being lazy. everyone there refused a towel for me. time to leave they told me to get out and come get my towel. i had to scout through the sand with the floatie over my bottoms, under my arms still, getting sand in very bad places. got to my parents friends house. i got hypothermia while everyone else climbed to the roof to watch the fireworks. i'm afraid of heights so i wouldn't of gone up even if i wasn't sick.

plenty of reasons to hate the fourth. it wasn't until Shawn's memorial when i found out he actually like about his age, he was actually two years younger. didn't even know until it was to late. my friend that became distant finally talked to me again after i told her what was going on. but nothing was better nothing will change. that and all the other days changed me.